I no longer stare through that same clear glass, but instead I catch myself looking through the distorted window of my heart. Happy, “perfect” looking couples can trigger my unhealthy reminiscing of a love that was lost, an innocent love that was before betrayal. As one would expect, engaging in these thoughts only turns me on a dangerous downward spiral which lands me in a place of fear and uncertainty.
During that lonely night in the hospital, 5 years ago, I forced my eyes off of a world I could no longer touch and turned my gaze towards my son. Through red, tear-filled eyes I captured the surreal scene of a weakened 15-year-old boy fighting for his life. In that moment my perspective changed! Cancer might have been robbing Seth of his life, but for that night we still had each other. So instead of focusing on what I had lost I began to focus on what I still had. And in time I would understand more clearly what a precious gift that would become.
As triggers battle for our wounded hearts, let us not forget that Jesus is our peace giver. In Matthew 14 Peter courageously steps out of the boat and embarks on his journey towards Jesus. When Peter began to sink below the water’s surface Jesus did not let him drown, instead He came and lovingly drew Peter out of the waters and wrapped him in His arms. Christ is wanting to do the same for you!
The road to healing is not an easy one yet all the Lord asks of us is to step out of the boat and trust that He will be there to pick us up when we fall. As circumstances become a continual reminder of all we have lost, let’s remember the One who we still have: a loving daddy in Heaven! Let’s reclaim and refocus our thoughts on Jesus, the only one who can bring peace to the storm.