With my husband’s disclosure came this unexplained urge to scream the hundreds of questions that were flooding my mind which seemed to have erupted from nowhere.
- “Who did you do this with?”
- “What is your problem?”
- “When did all this take place?”
- “Where was I?”
- “How many times…?”
With each question asked came answers, some which I was not ready to hear. I began to quickly learn that I should only ask questions that were necessary for my healing to move forward.
In desperately seeking to find a sense of safety in an unsafe situation, I was trying to make sense of the chaos that caused havoc on my heart. But needing to know all the details became a false sense of security and had the ability to leave lasting scars in my mind. It quickly came to be my own responsibility to be discerning with what I was asking and the timing of the questions. In doing so I was protecting myself from facts and details I was not emotional ready to hear.
There has come a time when most of my inquiries have been answered. And even though the replies were not always what I hoped for, I found myself at a place that I was able to hear and process each response. Being discerning in the asking has helped me move one step closer to the healing.
With all the good these 6 tiny words can do they can also be the downfall of our healing. Asking too many questions, too early, can take us down a bumpy road that we could have easily avoided. Remember, before you ask your husband a question, ask yourself one too: “Does this question need to be answered for my healing to move forward?”